


Nishinoya is perfect

by pricklybuns



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asahi centric towards all events, Canon Compliant, Gays on tour, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Second Year Azumane Asahi and First Year Nishinoya Yuu, Spoiler warning for Inarizaki match and Komomedai match, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, at least at the beginning, basically an asahi character study in asanoya lense, denial boys in love, not really - Freeform, oblivious boys in love, unhealthy idolization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pricklybuns/pseuds/pricklybuns
Summary: Until he isn't.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 13
Kudos: 52
Collections: Asanoya (main pairing)





	Nishinoya is perfect

Nishinoya is perfect. 

That's what Asahi knows for sure. 

Throughout his life of being a fumbling gangly human with, apparently, a face that kills, Asahi had never met anyone as perfect as Nishinoya.

Nishinoya is attractive, his jaw cuts into a perfect sharp angle, his eyes wide with a bright brown, shifting to yellow under the sunlight, his hair always perfectly gelled into a neat updo, his teeth gleaming white, aligning straight and even.

Nishinoya is talented, his skills rivalling professionals, his drive pushed him forward to be even better than how he was the day before, his quick reaction and sharp thinking is impeccable.

Nishinoya is kind, his words blunt and to the point yet never heartless and hurtful. He's always there to pick others up, cheer them on, and help them be better. Numerous times Asahi caught himself slipping, Nishinoya is always behind to catch him, call him back to practice, never give up on him, always believing in him. 

Nishinoya is brave, never shies away from new things, new experiences, new friends, new work, new travels, new food. He's always jumping around doing nothing and everything. 

Nishinoya is always right in front of him, yet is also someone Asahi could never reach. 

"Asahi," Suga's voice snapped Asahi out of his mind. "I think Noya might be into you."

Daichi perked up from his lunch box, mouth still half-filled with rice. " 'Into' might be a bit much but he really does get distracted with you around."

Asahi snapped his head towards Daichi, completely freaking out. "Distracted?!?! Wait, what?! What did I do??? Did he say anything?? Did he say I suck after the first welcoming match after all?!"

Suga grabbed a handful of tissues, shoving it in front of Daichi's mouth. "You're gross, finish eating before you speak!" As he kicked Asahi back from where he sat upon the stairway, almost knocking his lunch box out of his hand. "You need to chill out."

Daichi rubbed his mouth on the tissue held by Suga, swallowing the remaining food as he pushed Suga's hand from his mouth. "Stop fixating on that. What I meant was, Nishinoya gets super excited whenever you go on court. Don't know if you notice but the kid tails you everywhere."

"Yeah, he's into you."

"Suga, why would you assume--"

"No, it can't be." Asahi shook his head, chuckling. Nishinoya being into him? Or even is just interested in him above everyone else? No way. He's a good hitter but nothing like their captain, Kurokawa. He could receive but not as solid as Daichi. He passes decently well but nothing like Sugawara's. He has a certain presence on court but nothing like their new first-year Tanaka. "There is no way, you guys are just imagining things."

Daichi and Suga exchange looks before both sighing. "In my humble opinion, I think it is you who refuses to see the facts." Suga announced, straightening his back as they resumed their lunch.  


* * *

  
"Asahi-san! Nice kill!!" 

Asahi felt his nose flare at the compliment. He landed on his feet just in time to brace himself for Nishinoya's tackle.

"Asahi-san! Do that in matches and we'll definitely win all the time!!" Nishinoya's voice bounced around their gym stadium, mixed in with their teammates' chuckles. 

"I would if I can!" He opposed it weakly. 

Nishinoya bounced around the gym. Asahi chuckled at his antics. He always felt so young being around the guy, as if his energy could infect other people. 

"Nishinoya can be a bit too excitable huh?" He heard one of the first years from behind. 

"Yeah. A bit immature, it's good that he's more subdued on court." 

Asahi turned towards the juniors, giving them a harsh look. Whatever they wanted to say next died at the tip of their tongue as they watched Asahi break eye contact and walked away. 

"He's like that," Suga said, raising his eyebrows slightly, amused at his giant friend walking towards the water bottle, shoulder slumped, the guilt finally caught up to him, it seemed. "Say any non-compliment about Noya within his earshot and he gets all moody."

Suga caught a glimpse of Nishinoya bouncing towards Asahi, slapping the other in the back with a huge grin. Nishinoya's "Cheer up Asahi-san! If you worry about practice, I'll stay back with you!" echoed loudly across the court. Suga held back his laugh as Asahi's face clearly brightened. 

"Sugawara-san," Another first year joined them. "It's rude of me to ask but… are they.. an item?" Suga tilted his head at the other, dark brunette, hair split slightly off to the side, an average looking guy. Ennoshita, was it? "I'm not really close to Noya but it's obvious, his intentions."

Suga turned towards Asahi again, now staring down at something Noya is showing him on his phone. "Right? It's infuriating."  


* * *

  
"Noya-san!! What the hell is that?!" Tanaka's laughter could be heard clearly even before Asahi stepped foot into their clubroom.

"Be jealous all you want, Ryu! But this is what I was born with!" Nishinoya responded enthusiastically as Asahi opened the door, unable to even say his greetings upon catching Nishinoya's hair. "I'm embracing the 'wild' appearance I was blessed with from birth!!"

Asahi tripped on nothing, almost planting his face straight to the floor. 

Nishinoya was sporting his usual gelled hair but the tuft of hair in the middle was now bright yellow. It's a small change but immediately draws your eyes to it. 

_"Why don't you also gel this part of your hair?" Asahi asked._

__

__

_"Oh, that part is dyed. I don't want to risk damaging it or the colours if I slap the gell onto it. I was born with it blonde!"_

__

__

_Asahi made a face, receiving a light punch to his arm. "You don't believe me! Look, I got evidence!" Nishinoya fetched his phone from his back nearby. "See? Year 1 Noya!"_

__

__

_Asahi examined the photo, his mouth curled up into a smile as he looked at those puffy cheeks and small hands holding tightly a teddy bear, eyes brimming with tears. His eyes scanned upwards towards the baby's head, a clear tuff of yellow at the front._

__

__

_"See? I told you I was born with it!"_

__

__

_"You look good with that." Asahi couldn't help but compliment. "It fits your personality." He chuckled. "I always aimed to have a more 'wild' look but you seem to just be blessed with it from birth."_

__

__

_Asahi continued to chuckle until he noticed he was the only one chuckling. Did he say something wrong? Did Nishinoya actually hate that yellow tuft of hair? Did he compliment him too much or maybe saying you're blessed with a 'wild' look is going too far?!_

__

__

_"I think Asahi-san looks good too. Like that." Nishinoya pointed at his face with a grin, an odd determined look on the boy's face._

Asahi couldn't tell what that look meant until right then and there. Asahi was right, it really did suit Nishinoya. Returning the boy's thumb up towards his way with his own, he chuckled as Nishinoya argued with Tanaka about how his new look is "Way superior than anything you've ever seen, Ryu shounen!"

Nishinoya seemed even further away from his grasp now. A perfect person just becomes even more perfect.  


* * *

  
"Kiyoko-san!!" 

It was obvious really, that Nishinoya would be enamoured with their new manager. 

Daichi had brought her in a year ago as he was scouting for a manager after noticing they had been missing one. The team was still in its infancy then and had returned to its infancy once again as their third years graduated, Daichi now captain, their first years dropped off a few, leaving only Tanaka, Noya, Ennoshita, Kinnoshita and Narita. Their team was smaller than ever. 

Yet it was during this time that Kiyoko showed up most often. Perhaps she paid pity on them, how they've lost their experienced player and their coach had collapsed. 

Nonetheless, Kiyoko seemed a bit more.. engaged with volleyball, the team and their activities. 

"She seems to be quite attached to the team," Suga spoke up, chuckling. "Noya seemed to be grateful that she's around more often now, seeing as people his grades are dropping left and right. You know how the kid likes the support." Suga pats him in the back. "Don't sulk too much, okay?"

"I'm not…!" He protested with a whine. 

Really, if Noya had gone with Kiyoko, he probably should encourage him, and wish their relationship the best. 

Kiyoko is gorgeous, her beauty is filled with elegance and charm, her voice soft and sweet, her eyes sharp and focused, her hair smooth and silky. As the only female in the volleyball club, she definitely has a presence. Ever since he was young, Asahi had had bad luck with women, so getting the occasional compliments and encouragement from Kiyoko even makes him feel like floating too.

Kiyoko is seemingly perfect, just like Noya. They're almost made for one another. If they are ever a pair, it would definitely be--

"Asahi-san!!!" Noya's voice snapped him from his train of thought. The boy was already in front of him now. "Can you tutor me modern literature again?" He clasped his hands together. "Please! I don't know how to write this type of essay!! And the text is all confusing!!!"

Asahi rubbed the back of his neck. "Suga is better than me at tutoring though. I barely know what I'm talking about half of the time…"

"Suga-san said he's busy studying with Daichi-san!" Noya has the odd determined look on his face again. Asahi is forced to trust him. Who could just not trust that face?

"What about Ennoshita? His grades are generally better than mine at his age."

"But he's so mean when he's tutoring me. I'm too dumb for him!" 

Too dumb for-- Asahi took in a deep breath. He has to hold himself back. Daichi had already scolded him for getting irrationally moody over nonsensical things. This is nonsensical, he needs to calm down.

"Well... I suppose I have tonight free."

Nishinoya pursed his lips, his eyes widened in excitement as he gripped his palm into a fist, punching upwards, towards the air. "Yes!! Let's walk back together! I might have to borrow your shower, is that okay??"

"Yeah, I'll text my parents." 

Nishinoya hopped towards Tanaka, screaming random strings of 'Yahoo's as they high fived. He wondered why Noya would be so overjoyed after getting a tutor. Was he that bad at literature? 

Asahi chuckled. Noya has always been a bit slow with academics, mostly because he refused to go by the books and just puts in what he thinks is correct. But when Noya stays focused, he'll get it right, of course. 

Because Nishinoya is perfect.  


* * *

  
He couldn't do anything. Hit after hit after it, nothing went through. He knew it would happen, he's a decent hitter, being blocked, being aimed at, being targeted is something he knows very well. But being repeatedly blocked, getting points stolen off of his team, being unable to do anything. He's useless.

The feeling isn't new. But it is when it comes to volleyball. In volleyball he could score, he could attack, he could connect. He could do something but now, he in volleyball is just like everything else. 

Useless.

_"I'll take care of everything and get it through to you!"_

Nishinoya tried so hard. And for what? 

The sound of the ball being slammed down by the opposite net echoed in his eardrums. 

_"So please, hit it with all you've got!"_

The looming shadow of the other side completely blocking his vision, the court seemed to be limited, shrinking down to just corners and hallways to eventual the end.

Asahi stopped calling for the toss. 

They call them their ace, but what does he even accomplish? The ace is the go-to hitter, the one people will pass to when they need to get a hit through. But up until this point, Asahi has been nothing but a nuisance, added weight.

The small back of Noya seemed even further away now. Noya is perfect, he saved every ball he could, he passed every ball he got but Asahi couldn't do anything with it. Compared to the perfect Noya, Asahi is nothing. 

Noya slammed the mop into the storage room. The clock ticked 7, the sun was already gone, replaced by the pitch dark sky. 

"Block follow-ups... I couldn't do them at all…!!!"

Asahi felt his blood boils. Noya was doing his best, Noya has always been like how he always is. He was supportive, he was determined, he did all he could. It was _Asahi_ who couldn't do his job at all. Yet this whole ride back to their school, this whole walk into the gym, the whole time practice passes, to right now when they're cleaning up, why did no one call _him_ out?! Why is no one blaming _him_? Why must it be _Noya_ blaming himself?!

"It's my fault we lost!! No matter how many balls you recover, it's meaningless if I can't get any through!!"

His heartbeat is rising, his body heating up, he feels oddly out of breath, as if he had gone out for a run, everything inside of him tensed. 

"What do you mean it's meaningless…?"

Asahi felt himself flinched slightly. Noya was quiet, weirdly so. His eyes pierced daggers at Asahi. 

"Why didn't you call for the last toss? You could have hit it from your position."

Noya was angry, furious one could say. His voice harsh, his tone cold, his sentences lack the enthusiasm it always had. And of course, it was because of Asahi.

"S-Stop it Nishinoya!" Suga tried to go between them, "I keep aiming the balls at Asahi so he was worn out--"

"I couldn't have scored anyway, if you had tossed to me."

In a blink of an eye, Noya took hold of his collar, pushing him backwards. Rage flared in his eyes, all the adrenaline built up in one moment. " **You won't know if you don't try, damnit!!! The next one could have gone through!! Don't you dare give up on a ball I've recovered!!!** "

Nishinoya is perfect. Asahi knows this. Nishinoya tried his best, he's hard-working above his talent, he's kind-hearted, always looking out for people, always doing his best for people around him. 

He tried a lot for Asahi. He stayed with him after practice, practised in open fields on the weekends, searched him out during breaks. Nishinoya had always been too perfect for someone like Asahi to be around. Something Asahi knows better than anyone else.

"Why didn't you show up at the club activity yesterday?" 

It's better this way, to distance himself. From volleyball, from the team, from Nishinoya.

"Because there's nothing fun about hitting spikes that won't go through."

Saying things he doesn't believe.

"Even if you recover it, it's useless if the attacks don't connect."

Putting words into others' mouths.

"And whenever the attacks are blocked, Suga would feel responsible."

Putting in useless excuses. It's better this way, for Noya to give up on him and work with better partners-

" **What matters the most is whether you still want to hit!!** "

Ah. Even at times like this, Nishinoya is still so kind. So thoughtful, towards someone like Asahi, a waste of space like him.

Asahi turned his back, unable to face Nishinoya nor answer his calls. It's better this way. Newcomers will come, better hitters will appear, Nishinoya will get better partners, partners who will be strong enough to get the spikes through, strong-willed enough to stay the whole game, someone worthy.

Because Nishinoya is perfect.  


* * *

  
_"I can see everything on the other side of the net, open up before me and then the ball hits my hand at the highest point. The weight of it in my hand--like-- it's like--an awesome feeling!!"_

_"... you've gotten a lot of spikes through right? That's why everyone calls you an ace!"_

_"It's a given you can't win on your own, that's why there are 6 people on court."_

_"If you think you might still like volleyball, it's a good enough reason to return."_

_"Let me toss the ball to you one more time, Asahi."_

_**"What matters the most is whether you still want to hit!!"** _

"One more time..." Asahi spoke weakly, almost mostly to himself, "Even if I get repeatedly blocked, I think... I want to hit, just one more time."

Nishinoya, who was being uncharastically subdued, quiet and unmoving ever since the match had started, finally got into his position.

With the gaze gentler than Asahi had ever seen from him before, with a smile kinder than Asahi had ever received from him before, with a tone of voice softer than Asahi had ever heard from him before, he spoke

"Just hearing it, is enough."

Ah, of course. Because Nishinoya is perfect.

Even after being banned from club activities and school for a while, he still plays amazingly well. Even after being in a team that went nowhere compared to his previous middle school, he still held his head high. Even after what Asahi had done and said to him, Suga and his team, he still forgave Asahi.

As the match came to a close, Asahi caught sight of the broken broom inside of their storage room.

"What happened with this one?" He picked up the pieces. Why would they keep something like this around? Did they just not have enough money to get a new one?

"Ah, that." Nishinoya was right beside him as per usual, swatting down, taking one of the pieces from Asahi's hand. "I think we broke this one."

"We did?!" 

Nishinoya laughed at Asahi's distraught. "It was the one I threw that day. I think, in the heat of the moment, I probably push you to step on it."

"It's not that bad." He turned, meeting Suga behind them. "Just tape it back and it'll be good as new."

The taped broom was a bit off. It wobbled at times and sometimes would just bend itself in half, asking to have more layers applied but never fully come apart.

Nishinoya would always laugh when it happens and would always assist Asahi in fixing it. 

He might not be perfect, nor is he the perfect partner for Nishinoya, nor is their relationship back the same way as it was before. But perhaps with Nishinoya there, it'll just be a little more okay.  


* * *

  
"Asahi-san! Will you hit my tosses?!"

"Ah sure." He answered half-heartedly, still reeling himself back from having his hard-hitting spikes easily received by Nishinoya until his mind finally processed what the other said. "Tosses?!"

The new first years rolled in, their team still relatively small and incoherent. But with new wings, Asahi had thought they'd go farther than ever. But with their first loss against Aoba Johsai and numerous losing practice matches, everyone needed to improve.

But Asahi didn't think someone like Nishinoya would be amongst those people. 

Nishinoya is perfect, that was something Asahi was sure about. Nishinoya is high level, confident, he holds his head high because he knows he'll do the best of his abilities. Nishinoya never sees himself as the best, perhaps this is why Nishinoya keeps seeking ways to improve himself.

Perhaps that's why he who is already perfect, is still evolving. What excuse does Asahi have to fall behind?

It's comforting in many ways when Nishinoya would always stick around when practice was over and everyone either went home or gathered in a different gym or different area of the gym for their own practice. 

It reminded him of his first year in a way, when Daichi, Suga and him would stick behind and practice, desperately grasping at what little chances they have if bringing Karasuno out of its limbo and into the lights once again. 

One could say it's the same thing in his third year but perhaps they would--

"Asahi-san!!!"

Nishinoya's voice snapped him out of his dazed, just in time to be smacked in the face by the ball. 

"Asahi-san!! Are you okay??" The other wasted no time rushing over, the ball left forgotten, rolling off somewhere into some corner of the gym.

"Yeah yeah, I'm alright." Now that his back was touching the floor, the fatigue finally kicked in. Everything felt heavy, the floor suddenly felt way too comfortable to be laid on.

Nishinoya flopped down next to him soon after, heaving a sigh. "I can't get it right at all! My hands feel all cramped from tossing so much! I can barely get it to move at the same time anymore!"

Asahi chuckled at him. It's strange seeing Nishinoya stumped, especially since they met when Nishinoya had somewhat already perfected his craft. "It's you we're talking about, you'll get it." Because Nishinoya is perfect, after all.

Nishinoya was quiet, so much so that Asahi wondered if he had said something wrong or if the other had passed out cold from tiredness. 

He turned his head only to meet piercing yellow staring into his own.

The other had another expression Asahi hasn't seen before. He couldn't pinpoint what it is or why it was even there. 

Nishinoya's eyes were piercing as always, with a determined glare to them but at the same time oddly.. soft? Filled with.. fondness? Something alongside gratefulness as well? Asahi couldn't make it out fully, even as Nishinoya was letting him look into those eyes and figure him out.

Asahi felt his face heat up the longer they held their eye contact, the longer he noticed the smile Nishinoya has on his face.

"Asahi--"

"We-- We should get back to practice!" Asahi sat up, beelining towards one of the stray balls on the other side of the court. 

What was that? Why was he reacting like that? Why is his body heating up? Why is his heart beating louder? Is it audible outside of him? Oh god did Nishinoya hear his--

"Asahi-san," Nishinoya called him again. Asahi took a deep breath. It was probably just because they were close. They both are in the middle of practice, sweaty and heating in an enclosed area. It's probably nothing. 

Asahi turned to meet Nishinoya, whose eyes are now his signature determined look, his bright smile apparent on his face. "I definitely _will_ get it."

Asahi's eyes widened before a smile spread on his face as well. Of course, because Nishinoya is perfect, he'll work himself to continue to be. 

No matter what that was just now, Asahi is not worthy of having such feelings towards someone so perfect.  


* * *

  
It was already sundown when Asahi changed out of his gym uniform. He had stayed behind with a few others for practice and took his time changing. It was already Spring, the tournament would start at any time now. 

Asahi took his time locking up the club room before noticing a figure still standing at the bottom of the stairs. 

Nishinoya. 

It has been like this for a while now. Nishinoya would stay back to practice his overhand receives and Asahi would practice his serves and offenses. He'd take his time changing and Nishinoya would wait for him at the end of the stairs. 

Seemed like Asahi took a long time this time around, as Nishinoya was already holding two small milk cartons he got from their vending machine. 

"You'll get sick like that." Asahi took out a spare scarf, wrapping it around Nishinoya. 

Winter had already passed but the air was still many degrees lower than what would be considered warm. Although Nishinoya always took care of his health enough to not get sick, he'd keep forgetting umbrellas and scarfs and Asahi would always lend him a spare or give Nishinoya his or wait with him until the rain passed.

It became such a habit that Asahi would just bring extras, just in case.

Nishinoya handed him one of the milk cartons as he nuzzled his face into Asahi's spare scarf. It's oddly intimate. 

Asahi couldn't explain it but in recent times they haven't had much time paying attention to each other on court. He'd always know Nishinoya has his back and Nishinoya would always instinctively know Asahi had their offense unlocked. They're so aware of each other's presence on court it was like the other was an extra limb.

Off-court was… different. 

Asahi couldn't tell what or when things changed but he started to become more aware of when Nishinoya would stick to him, he'd be more aware of when Nishinoya would talk to Tanaka about girls cheering for them if they keep getting better, he'd be more aware of when Nishinoya would take his leave when the conversation about girls would get too detailed or deep, he'd start being more aware of how Nishinoya would tag along with him or stick by him whenever he could, especially if he could get Asahi alone. 

Asahi enjoyed his presence of course, insanely so, which was something Asahi also recently took notice. 

After getting better at his skills, Asahi felt a sense of confidence in him that was missing from before, from when they lost miserably against Dateko. And from then on, standing next to Nishinoya felt… comfortable. Dare he says, standing next to Nishinoya makes him feel a strange sense of happiness. 

Before, being around Nishinoya made him feel like the lesser man, the unworthy. Nishinoya was perfect while Asahi was everything but. Asahi was filled with flaws and flaws were all he could see. And for a while, Asahi believed that was all he had. 

But as time stretched on, as everyone's words and actions sunk in, as his own success showed him, Asahi was flawed, yes, but he was everything but only flaws. He might not be as perfect as Nishinoya is, but he's not so horrible as to be unworthy of standing by him. 

"Asahi-san." Nishinoya finally spoke. 

They were walking on a familiar road, going first towards Asahi's house up towards the hills then Nishinoya's, down towards the valley. 

Walking in silence till they got home was not unfamiliar territory but it was strange seeing as Nishinoya stopped to call his name. 

Asahi didn't reply, simply turned towards him. Nishinoya took it as a sign to continue. "The Tournament is starting soon."

Asahi rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. It's been in my mind a lot."

"And after it, it will be your graduation." 

"It would, wouldn't it?" Graduation. He didn't even think that far. He knew what he wanted to do of course. He planned to skip out on college and just aim for a job. He has somewhat of a portfolio already with what he wanted to do. The question was whether he should stay in Miyagi or head elsewhere. 

"And after graduation, we might not see each other again."

Nishinoya's words snapped Asahi back towards reality, out of his own head. Turning towards the other male, Asahi was surprised at how small he looked. 

Nishinoya had never been a big person per se, but his presence and energy were huge. When they walked together, there were times Asahi could say he felt safe having Nishinoya next to him. His presence was just that big. And yet..

"So I want to tell you, before it's too late."

Nishinoya looked up to Asahi, his piercing eyes gazing into Asahi's, determined and serious. He's always the prettiest like that. 

"I like you, Asahi-san."

It comes at a sudden shock but at the same time not exactly. Somewhere in Asahi's mind, something clicked. Like an Ah, it all makes sense now type of moment. 

He wanted to ask when it started but somewhere deep down he already knew. 

He wanted to ask why but at the same time felt like Nishinoya through the years had already told him why.

He wanted to say give me time to make up my mind but he already knew where his mind was. 

And it seemed like Nishinoya does as well. 

"It won't affect practice or change anything between us, unless you want to." Nishinoya spoke up, they were walking once again. "I just wanted to tell you in case I never have the chance to again. What matters is whether you want to take me or not." Nishinoya laughed half-heartedly, Asahi chuckled half-heartedly along with him.

If only Asahi could say yes, but someone like Nishinoya deserved more. Because Nishinoya is perfect.  


* * *

  
** __**

**  
**

Extreme spoiler warning for Haikyu!! manga from this point forward.

**  
  
**  


* * *

  
Their match towards Inarizaki has been brutal. There were elements being thrown at them that caught them all by surprise. 

So this is national. 

Asahi felt himself a bit shaken but not exactly fearful. What weighed on his mind more was Nishinoya. 

Nishinoya had always been the one person every other time would steer clear from instead of purposely aiming at. He'd always had a presence but his presence had never been targeted this much in that way up until that point.

He lost count at how many points Atsumu Miya's jump floaters had gotten from them, off of Nishinoya. 

Everyone could see how it affected him, Asahi could feel it the most. 

It was another of their time out and Nishinoya had never been so quiet before. His face wore a solemn expression, filled with worries and frustrations, one of which manifested itself straight onto court just a few moments ago which his fingers pushed up. 

Asahi had never comforted nor encouraged Nishinoya before, mostly because he never needed to. Nishinoya always had his head high, his spirits up and strong, his mind calm and collected. To see him sent into such a whirlwind of troubles, Atsumu Miya must be a very good server. 

"Nishinoya." He called out to him, even in the noisy stadium, Nishinoya didn't miss a beat when he turned towards Asahi. "It's you were talking about, (receiving) it is definitely possible. At least that's what I want to say but the reality is that right now Atsumu Miya's serves are so powerful that even you have a hard time getting it."

"I'm not good at encouraging people because I'm such a disaster myself."

It's rare for him to feel such confidence. Maybe it isn't. Maybe when he was in his first year, he was this confident as well. But maybe it was thanks to Nishinoya always being there to give him the time he needed to build himself back up, to keep practising and for Nishinoya to keep pushing him forward.

"But if I'm talking about myself, I can say one thing for sure."

Because of his time spent broken was given time to heal and build onto itself that now he could confidently say:

"Even if it's not a perfect pass, I'll still punch it home."

And finally, Nishinoya smiled.  


* * *

  
"When I was a child. I was a huge scaredy-cat." 

Nishinoya's sudden soft-spoken voice had surprised them all then. He'd never been so… talkative before, even if he was loud. "It continued up until primary I think, I don't remember it much. I was scared of everything. Dogs, bugs, snakes. Shy with strangers too."

It was.. a confession surely. It was strange seeing Nishinoya open up but...him? Being afraid of anything? It sounded… almost foreign. 

Nishinoya is perfect, he had barely any flaws, no fear, no guilt because he's always at his best doing his best. He peaked with his development. Asahi had always viewed him as peak human, in a sense.

"My gramps was a real ballbuster though, so I got over them pretty fast. Still can't stand mosquitos and onions though.

When Atsumu Miya served, my feet felt like it was glued to the floor. It took a bit but I finally remembered why it felt so nostalgic.

I was scared."

Being afraid should be a normal thing really, but hearing that Nishinoya is afraid was a totally different deal.

Nishinoya had never seemed fearful of anything. He was, like how he described his grandfather, a ball buster. He'd climb trees, jump around, dive headfirst into ponds, eat ice cream during winter, running around without a scarf on. Whenever there would be a confrontation, he'd even throw himself in front of Asahi. 

"But my gramps told me something once.  
_'Do ya know what's wrong with being afraid of so much stuff?'  
Because it's not manly?  
'Naaah, because it's a big waste of opportunity.'_ "

Asahi wondered if there was something Nishinoya wanted to spread to them as a whole through that story or if there was any other reason he told it at all other than to shed some of his own anxiety. 

Nishinoya's fear. 

Asahi watched that small back of his as they walked together on court. For some reason, it seemed closer than before.  


* * *

  
"Asahi-san. You're not thinking that I feel responsible for not being able to dig that last ball, are you?"

Asahi was surprised he got caught staring, more surprised he got caught for his train of thought as well. But it was something Asahi couldn't deny. 

It was their match with Kamomedai, their then last match in the Spring national tournament in general. Hinata had gotten sick then and was escorted off court, with one of their biggest weapon and and everyone reaching their limits, the first to crack was Tsukishima, a cramp, things continued, Asahi spiked, Kamomedai received ad the last shot was delivered by Hoshiumi, slipping right off Nishinoya.

Losing Hinata was a big blow to their morale, that he knew but despite that, the team fought tooth and nail with all they had. It's his last battle with Karasuno, suddenly now that he got the chance, he felt a strange sense of longing. 

"To say I'm not would be a lie but I mean, if it was a ball you couldn't get, none of us would be able to get it either.

Okay well maybe Daichi would have but it went above the 3 person block so maybe not-"

Nishinoya barked out a laugh, "If it's a ball only I could get, aren't I supposed to feel bad about not getting it though?" 

"Really?"

"Definitely!!"

Nishinoya laughed, smacking him in the arm. Asahi soon found himself chuckling alongside him as well. 

There was a strange sense of relief that washed over him then. At the time Asahi couldn't pinpoint why. Perhaps it was the end of the game, perhaps it was the end of their gruelling marches with extended rallies. Perhaps it was the idea of finally getting to eat a meal. Perhaps it was the thought of how strong their team is and would be in the future. Perhaps it was all of them. 

But one thing he knew was amongst them. 

Nishinoya's small mighty back that once stood in front yet far-reaching was now just there, reachable, easy to touch. 

Asahi gave Nishinoya's back a pat, the boy returned his gesture tenfold with a slap. 

They gathered for the captain and coach speech.  


* * *

  
Nishinoya is not perfect. 

Like everyone else, he's merely human. He feels mostly joy but he also feels angry, afraid, guilty. He's selfless but there will be times he can be selfish and careless. He's intelligent but academically lazy, refuses to study and gets himself distracted. He's talented but there are many things he can't do, like sitting down and do a tedious task.

Asahi is not perfect. 

Like everyone else, he's merely humans. He feels mostly anxious but he can be confident and reliable. He can be selfish but when it is in his ability, he'll give all he can to people that are important to him. He's a bit academically slow but he's hard-working, earning his grades through nights of study. He's clumsy at best but he's careful and pays attention to the things that he mustn't be clumsy around. 

Nishinoya and Asahi are opposites at worst and complementary at best. There are things they don't agree on, there are things they don't and won't fully understand of one another but there are things they can do together, and do it well. Nishinoya slots into all that Asahi isn't and Asahi does the same for him. Nishinoya taught him how to fly and Asahi helped keep Nishinoya grounded. Had always been. 

Back then, there was a wall that stood between them, a wall that perhaps Asahi had unconsciously built himself. A wall built out of idolization and magnification, turning Nishinoya into more of an enigma than seeing him as a person, putting him on such a high pedestal that Asahi did not allow himself to reach. 

But now,

"Nishinoya." 

He called out to Nishinoya under the shade of the cherry blossom. Asahi had taken his time gathering his things, Suga and Daichi had already gone ahead while the rest of the second year and first year had gone back in. And as per usual, Nishinoya is there, waiting for him.

The other was already looking at him before he called and just flashed a smile, replying with a cheerful "Yes?"

"I'd like to take you, if the offer is still up."

The smile on Nishinoya's face fell, his face replaced with shock. His eyes widened, bulging slightly. Asahi braced himself for impact before Nishinoya ran up to him, leaping off the ground, tackling him into a tight embrace. 

"We don't do returns." Nishinoya spoke, almost shyly with his face buried inside the crook of Asahi's neck, legs tightening their grip around his waist, a position all too familiar for them. 

Asahi easily wrapped one arm around the small of his back, the other below Nishinoya's butt, supporting him. "Do you run out of dates as well?"

Nishinoya chuckled. "You're unfair, saying this in such a day. Everyone is bawling in there you know and I'm not gonna be able to wipe this grin off."

Nishinoya pulled his face from Asahi's neck. Piercing yellow meets Asahi's own. Nishinoya's smile must be infectious, he couldn't wipe the grin off of his face as well. 

He wondered how long it had been, when it all started for him, when did he fall, when did he crave, when did this feeling start to feel so right. But somewhere deep down, he already knew the answer. 

"I have to go to morning practice." Nishinoya spoke, leaning his forehead into Asahi. 

"I have to get back home to prepare some stuff too." Asahi leaned in, their noses touching. 

"Tokyo?"

"Someone told me their gramps once said.. being afraid of many things will be a waste of opportunities. So I thought.. perhaps I should just suck it up and head up there."

Nishinoya's smile grew fondly as they rub their noses together, hands finding one another. "You'll do amazing, my reliable designer." 

Asahi chuckled. "You'll do amazing too, my adventurous guardian."  


* * *

  
"Asahi! Hurry, you wanted to watch it!"

"Sorry, Suga texted!" 

Asahi ran from the other side of the cramped room towards Nishinoya. 

Their current location, Egypt. Nishinoya, wait no, Yu, his Yu, who has been travelling the world had always begged him to come visit him every once a while or come along even if for one trip because that's "a debt you haven't paid!"

Every year on Asahi's birthday, Nishinoya would make it home to celebrate with him. The first time was a surprise, so was the second but now it has become an expected visit, even if Yu didn't inform beforehand. 

He'd celebrate with Asahi's family then they'd go to Asahi's flat in Tokyo where Yu would stay for a day before heading off. 

Asahi is a man of habit. He enjoyed going from his desk in the office to his dingy apartment, slaving away with deadlines and sleeping it all off by Sunday, then waking up and going at it again until he could fall asleep once more. Every day at his lunch break Yu would send him a message, just a simple "Don't overwork" or "Don't die on me", when he has his handful, he'd send a string of emojis. Then at 9 pm, they'd call and talk about their day, Yu would send him pictures of his accomplishment for the day and he should send his drafts and work in progress. 

Yu supports him fully, and so does he. Sometimes it gets very lonely and he just wants to feel those small hands wrapping around his waist, pulling him close, or those gentle lips pressing upon his own, slow and lazy. Every year he'd swallow it all down and brute force his way through just for his birthday, when it could soak in all that Yu is to keep brute-forcing it through another year.

Asahi truly is a man of habit. Until one day when his habit breaks.

That week he had run multiple deadlines, going so far as to finally actually succumb to coffee only to realize he couldn't deal with it and got himself a pounding headache. He continues to brute force his way through, taking breaks to drink water every now and again. Even at 9 pm, he didn't have the time to answer Yu's call. He worked until 4 am and sent off his work, collapsing on the desk.

His complexion gets worse and worse every time he looks in the mirror, so much so he refuses to video call anymore, afraid to make the other worry, even if his change of habit probably already made his boyfriend worried. 

Does he want to live this way? Slaving away, working day and night like a cog in a machine, barely able to even call or look at his boyfriend in the face because of how bad he looks? His habits and schedules that he is ever so careful to not break had been broken, what else could be done about it all?

Why would he be afraid of breaking habits when it is already broken?

It's a waste of opportunity.

Asahi took a deep breath as he swiped everything on his desk off the table, save for his laptop at the far end, pulling it in front of him, his hands shaking as he typed away an email before sending it off to his boss. 

From his desk, he pulled out the cabinets, taking out pieces and piles of money he had put under all of his work within it all before taking hold of a makeshift piggy bank, his heart still beating and filled with nerves.

He eyed the clock, 8:45 pm. He pressed to call Yu anyway.

Barely after the first ring, the smiling icon of his boyfriend turned to a full screen. "Asahi! Look what I got!" Yu showed him little pearls and seashells he picked up before excusing himself away from the natives he was staying with and flop himself down on a bench, smiling cheerfully at Asahi, as always. 

His boss answered his email, Asahi took a deep breath to calm himself as he pulled up his email for Yu to see. 

_"Greetings,  
As of late, I've been too overworked with our deadlines. My health has decreased and so has my mental state. I'm writing this email to inform you I'll be taking my leave from the company. I will write a proper resignation letter and send it to you tomorrow, I just want to have his letter here to inform you of my leave. _

_Thank you,  
Asahi Azumane"_

Yu's eyes widened as he read through, before he could speak, Asahi cuts in, "Where are you right now?" 

"Italy? I'm going down towards the coast soon before going to a different place. Why..?" 

"I'm coming with you."

Yu's camera collapsed and for a few moments all Asahi could see was the sky before Yu's face invaded the screen once more, bright and joyous, like the burning sun behind him. "Guys guys! My boyfriend is gonna come!! He's going to go travelling with me!!" Yu screamed on top of his lungs in the middle of the sidewalk in whatever part of Italy he was at. 

"Yu!! Quiet down, you'll bother someone..!!"

Yu ran towards one of the ladies inside a nearby building, Asahi vaguely recalls Yu said that is the native who has been kind enough to let him house with and work for money. Yu spoke in a language unfamiliar to Asahi, pointing to the phone, she chuckled as she replied back. 

"Asahi! Asahi! When are you coming?!" 

With Yu being so excited, Asahi couldn't help but feel excited as well. A lot of things could go wrong, they could run out of money halfway through but it doesn't mean they won't be able to make it back right? They could get lost or get stuck in the rain, get themselves burgled or get stuck in the middle of nowhere. And all of it would be with Yu. 

He took in another deep breath. He had seen and heard of many things Yu went through during this trip, if he can make it alone, perhaps they can make it together. 

He looked at Yu's piercing yellow with his own, a gleam of determination in his eyes.

It was after MSBY Black Jackals vs Schweiden Adlers match, after being awed and hyped by their monster generation, Asahi returned to his apartment, fully packed and ready. He sent most of his things back home, only bringing the essentials. He called up Yu, 7 pm. 

"Asahi! Did you see the marlin I took?! Those things were vicious!!" 

Asahi chuckled, listening to Yu talk in the car all the way to the airport. 

"In a couple of hours more, we'll meet each other." Asahi spoke in a low voice, trying his best to not bother the people around him. 

Yu's eyes sparkled with excitement, "You spend your life savings on this, there is no going back, you know!"

"Well, we don't do returns. You just have to show me the way."

"Asahi!!" Yu's voice snapped him out of his daydream. "You have that 'look how far we've come' face again! Common, I'm missing warmth! We could get nostalgic in bedd!"

Yu whined, his arms stretched out towards Asahi, his blanket covering only his thigh, mostly lay abandoned next to his side, clearly telling that was Asahi's spot. 

They're in another native's house, a cafe this time, that they help out for money and rent. Their laptop sat on a wooden table in front of the small window of the top floor, two small wooden chairs in front of it, one already claimed by Yu, the other reserved for Asahi. He slots in effortlessly, wrapping an arm around Yuu's waist, pulling him close as the two share a soft kiss. 

Yu chuckled, rubbing his face onto Asahi's chest. "It feels like a dream that you're here sometimes. And then I pinched myself and I'm awake!" He laughed, hand shifting to pulling Asahi closer before abandoning the idea and just sits on Asahi's lap, wrapping them with the blanket.

Asahi chuckled, his arms resting around Yu's stomach, placing itself on his thighs, chin on top of his boyfriend's head as Yu leaned back and pressed play.

2021, Tokyo Olympics replay, highlights and complimentary. 

Yu cheered loudly as the team walked out, sat on the edge of their chair when the rally went on too long, hopped off the chair when their team scored, slamming his head onto Asahi's chin every once a while. At times Asahi would pin him to his chest or let him wear off the excess energy. They whooped and cheered, Asahi even lifted Yu off the chair with how excited he was at one point.

They'd laugh when it's over, pulling each other towards the bed too small for two and too short for Asahi, burying themselves into one another.

Yu isn't perfect. 

That's Asahi knows best. But so isn't Asahi. And when they're together, even if things aren't perfect, they feel right.


End file.
